The Gift of Patience

My support team! Ate Mal, Mom, and Tita Day

Bought them Thai Iced Coffee as a token of gratitude

I did not get what I want yesterday. 

Was I mad and frustrated? Yes. But right now, I am thankful. Because I learned that in life, we can never always get what we want. Even if we do our best and put so much effort to achieve it, if it's not for us, it's not for us.

If it's not for us, it's not for us. 

However, I do not consider it a failure. Because yesterday, I also learned something about myself. Two things actually:

1. I am impatient. Yup. I already know this. 

2. I kinda have a gut feel in the beginning if something is meant for me. A powerful intuition. 

Knowing and reconfirming my impatience gives me the opportunity to self-reflect. I enjoy my slow solitude moments. I think it takes most of my time in a day. So if I have do something that takes me away from my solitude, I snap. It is an ugly trait, but I acknowledge it. I intend to be more mature and gain more wisdom, so I am making an active choice to work on my patience. There is beauty in getting things done quickly. But there are things in life that requires playing the long game. 

And this is where my Mom is very good at. Last year, we finished a two-year cumbersome project - transfer of the property title. It was tedious, crazy AF, and I lost my cool a million times. Mom, despite her weak bones, difficulty walking, and other limitations, never lost hope. Never. While I am logical and pessimistic, Mom remained faithful and thought of creative ways to solve our case. I, on the other hand, tend to follow a rigid process. 

Accomplishing that project was not impossible, but it was sooo damn hard. I had to spend half of my vacation leaves for that, scattered once a month in two years. Mom patiently waited and asked for God's mercy. And by the time we were close to the finish line, Mom and I both cried. 

Mom cried because she finally got what she prayed for. I cried because I was so tired. Then, I realized. Prayer and patience are sooo powerful. 

But yesterday, I did not get what I wanted. But I also realized that my Mom, Auntie, Ate Mal, our barangay captain, and other helpful folks never left my side. I gave up many times but they carried me. Literally and figuratively. It gives me joy that there are people who are willing to help me even if it's a losing game. And for that, I am thankful. 

We know the drill. We cannot always get what we want, but we can try. To my second point, I have a gut feel if something is meant for me. On the second try last month, I realized that it's not for me. Now, I did a third try and still failed. I am giving up. For now. But I can always try in the near future. 

Knowing early if something is meant for us saves us time, energy, and effort. These resources are limited, unfortunately, so we have to be strategic in determining what we want to achieve. Gut feeling connects us to the collective conscious, sending us signals of what could possibly happen. Then, we can make an informed decision based on these signals. 

I knew it was not meant for me, but I still tried it. Two years ago, I also tried something but it was also not meant for me. Turns out, it was a perfect timing. Because I got something that is way better. 

Our failures lead us to our destiny - to our success. With the right amount of hardwork and patience, we can achieve our goal. 

I may not have gotten what I want. But surely, I will get what I rightfully deserve in the future.