I made a new routine of reading the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People at the end of the year and the start of new year to instill some structure in my chaotic world. Last year, I wrote my nine-point personal statement, so now, I reviewed it based on how I lived my life in 2024. 

Commitment	Success	Needs Improvement	Remarks
Downsize & Upgrade	😁		I didn’t buy a lot of clothes or material possessions in 2024. I focused on purchasing timeless items and avoided fast fashion.
Reward my present self as much as I reward my future self	😁		Exercised regularly and reduced alcohol consumption. My diet still needs attention.
Manage my time well		🙂	Still needs to work on my daydreaming
Stay humble, curious		🙂	I’ve embraced humility well, but curiosity needs to be nurtured further.
Listen emphatically	😁		People noticed this change, and it positively impacted my relationships. My romantic connection also flourished.
Perform all of my duties with consistency and honesty		🙂	I need to further qualify good work by focusing on creativity and efficiency.
Be brave enough to make mistakes in the spirit of learning		🙂	Still scared to look like a moron and fail
Form, nurture, and mend valuable relationships through trust and respect	😁		Active listening has helped people trust me more, and I’ve built better relationships, including a renewed connection with my mom.
Kindly let go of the relationships which are harmful to the self		🙂	This is a work-in-progress. But at least all of my relationships have been enriching.

Reflections on the Past Year

Out of my nine commitments, I successfully delivered on four, while the remaining five needed more calibration. I’ve realized that while my personal statement serves as a good day-to-day guide, it lacks a clear vision of the kind of person I want to become. Without a defined destination, my present self struggles to align fully with my future aspirations.

I admire people who have found their calling and purpose. Unfortunately, I’ve grown too comfortable with life and have delayed pursuing my purpose. However, 2024 was about inner work, healing, and love. The previous two years were chaotic: 2022 was a wake-up call, and 2023 was when my mom’s illness temporarily shifted my focus from healing to caregiving. Her ordeal, though challenging, helped me rediscover my core values and who I am as a person and as a woman.

There is nothing wrong with my nine-point statement—it’s a roadmap that needs a clear destination. So, in 2025, I’ll ask myself: What do I want to become? And am I ready to face hardships to achieve that?

Setting a Vision for 2025

I read somewhere that identity is not about achieving or becoming, but about embracing who you are and aligning it with who you want to be. Now that I’ve accepted myself more, it’s time to answer these questions.

The answer is:

I want to be someone who can travel and teach, earning a living from it while staying healthy and vibrant. I want to live a long, fulfilling life.

Voyaging Mentor: Thriving, Teaching, and Living a Long, Vibrant Life

I have two major projects for this year to tactically jumpstart this intention. But I will save it for another blog. 

Happy New Year! Cheers to a peaceful, joyful, and abundant 2025! 

I attended an anticipated Holy Mass a few hours ago. It was a reading about Jesus not being accepted by his hometown but embraced by Gentiles, people outside Israel. The point was, even if people didn't want a prophet to show up and proclaim the good news, the prophets still showed up anyway and proclaimed the good news. But how the audience heard it didn't sound like good news; it was more of a painful sermon, people being forced to be good, to submit to God, because only through submission and surrender could people receive grace.

Love and blessings, I realized, are not always packaged beautifully. We've all resented our parents, teachers, friends, and bosses for being critical of us. But in reality, what they're saying is for our own benefit. We may not realize it at the time, but we'll come to our senses a decade or two from now. They risked being hated by us just to deliver the harsh consequences of our actions. Didn't we all wish our parents would disappear because we hated everything they said?

Our loved ones risked being disliked for our sake. They showed up and did the hard job of giving tough love. They had to reprimand us even if it hurt our fragile ego. They were there. They showed up.

And what I've just realized, after hearing Mass and a bottle of Soju a few hours later, is that showing up is a great expression of love. It may seem basic and easy, but showing up can be difficult. Some say it's the bare minimum, but to be present, to be there for your beloved, seems incredibly challenging.

That's why I argue that showing up is one, if not the greatest expression of love. If a loved one shows up for you, whether you like it or not, you will eventually appreciate it. It doesn't matter if you appreciate their presence. What matters is that they're there, to witness you, to be with you, to celebrate your triumphs and endure your hardships.

We might criticize our parents for their shortcomings in parenting or their unresolved traumas affecting their daily lives and interactions with us. But if despite all that, they still strive to be the best parents they can be, we ought to show appreciation. What is unacceptable is absence, not making enough effort to be there for your children, whether they're seven or 37 years old. NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO CLAIM THEY LOVE SOMEONE WITHOUT SHOWING UP FOR THEM.

So, as part of my healing process and with my goal of loving unconditionally without losing myself, I commit to showing up for the people I love—whether they're experiencing success, suffering, or simply going through life neutrally. Consider this my love language: being present, standing by my beloved, whether in silence or speaking out, comforting someone, sharing tears of pain, or just sharing a drink together.

Hey You,

After about two decades, it seems like you've finally found your way.

You've come to understand that it's okay to stand on your own. That doesn't mean you won't appreciate being in a relationship; there are still nights, especially when you're unwell, where the solitude stings a bit.

But here you are, getting it. Right now, you're choosing to focus on yourself and build the future you desire. A future untarnished by someone else's expectations—a path uniquely your own.

Whether you end up sharing this journey with someone or continue flying solo is no longer a pressing concern. It just doesn't matter anymore.

I recall when you were 16, you said that you are scared to be alone. And because you looked nerd, you weren't really the hot girl in high school. But for some reason, you still got the cute crush ng bayan Chinito guy that every girl in your school wanted. You weren't really sure why but maybe your unruly hair and glasses added a dash of charm. It was a realization of your unique allure. Also, that guy had a thing for brainy girls.

Fast forward to 26—your most single era, if there is such a term. Four years of what felt like a romantic drought, yet you navigated it with grace. Sure, some guys showed interest, but they always seemed to be the issue. However, during this time, you discovered the beauty of dining alone in fancy restaurants. You were kind of broke but you have always managed your finances well so you could afford some seafood oil-based pasta, ramen, and booze. 

Now, at 36, you're an entirely different person. Two decades have transformed you. Your 30s saw you in relationships your younger selves would question. And you'd respond, "Damn right, I made those decisions, and I don't regret them!"

You gained more power in your 30s and unfortunately, that meant not only getting hurt, but hurting other people in the process. Some of them do not even deserve it.

Lately, you've been reassessing yourself. How come I feel fine when I am sober, and a completely unhappy person when I am drunk? Your life coach tells you "Maybe you do not accept that part of you that needs help, that needs care, so from time to time, in your most vulnerable moment, she comes out. Maybe you just need to accept this side of yours?" Your life coach is so amazing. 

So, given these scenarios, now is the right opportunity NOT to enter in romantic or casual relationships. Your record in the past 15 months shows that you have poor judgment, often clouded by whatever undiagnosed trauma of the past. And since you are making great progress right now in admitting that you suck at relationships, you've decided to temporarily suspend any dating activities, online and in person. 

For the first time, you can confidently say, "I will be okay, alone or not." Surprisingly, that's reassuring.

The future is yours to shape, and that prospect excites you more than any past relationship ever did.

As you continue this inward journey of yours, allow me to wish you the most heartfelt Happy Valentine's Day! You are incredible. 

I shared my very first personal statement with you at the beginning of this year. It is a nine-item statement that I strive to fulfill not only this year but for as long as I live. For now, this is what I intend to do, not only to be more effective but also to be a better person in general.

Three of those nine items focus on one principle that I want to emphasize: Efficiency. As mentioned in the title of this blog, I am applying this principle to various aspects of my life. It is all about managing the precious resources we all have—money, possessions, energy, and most importantly, time.

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines efficiency or being efficient as being capable of producing desired results with little or no waste. The Cambridge Dictionary defines it as the quality of working well in an organized way, without wasting time or energy. Simply put, it means doing more with less—as one of the core values of the company where I work.

But how will I become more efficient? Was I not efficient before? I would say I was, but I can always be better.

DOWNSIZE AND UPGRADE

As I crafted my personal statement late last year, this was the very first thing that came to mind. What I realized is that I have too much stuff. Too many clothes. Too many pens. Too many things that I later realized are unimportant.

Another issue I have is difficulty packing stuff. With the future that I am planning for myself, I need to learn how to streamline and manage my possessions. I am amazed by people whose life is just one huge suitcase. They travel with only one small or big bag, and that's it. They can live wherever.

I have started selling some clothes that no longer resonate with this new version of myself. A part of me still sees myself with those clothes, but I am letting go of them. I am letting go of that part of me that's grand, that wants to impress others, that wants to possess more and shiny stuff.

But downsizing is just the first half of this item. The second half is all about upgrading. Yes, I am letting go of things, but I am retaining stuff of good quality. And I will continue to buy or invest in things that are of good value, those that I can use for a longer period. This means turning my back on fast fashion, investing in pieces that I can still wear five to ten years from now. These things are more expensive, and that is fine. The return on investment is way better than buying items that would be out of fashion in months.

REWARD MY PRESENT SELF AS MUCH AS I REWARD MY FUTURE SELF

I have started doing this, and I have seen great results. We cannot just focus on saving for the future; we should also invest in ourselves now. We reach our goals because we use our bodies, our brains, and our energies. If we do not nurture these now, how else will we achieve the future that we want? So I say, strive to achieve a comfortable life for your future without letting go of comfort now.

The way I have rewarded my present self is through discipline and indulgence. For me to eat good food, I need to exercise. For me to wear the dress that I want, I need to exercise. For me to have a comfortable home, I need to clean. I need to exercise to have a longer, healthier, and better quality of life now and when I get older.

I got the reward of the future when Mom got sick. It was a million-peso medical expense, but I managed to fight. I am thankful for the help of relatives, friends, and workmates for chipping in, but a good 80% of how I managed is because I was ready for it.

So, in every struggle, there should always be a reward. And then struggle again, to achieve the next reward.

MANAGE MY TIME WELL

And here is the most important resource of all: Time. A loved one once told me, the other resources you can earn back—food, money, things, even energy. But time, once it's gone, you can never take it back. This is the item that I have failed to manage in my life. I have lived as if I had all the time in the world. But whenever I look at Mom, Ate Mal, and other aging loved ones, I realize that I am running out of time.

I admit that I am poor at time management. I cram for the most part. And I tend to stay in situations and linger on activities that I soon realize are not worthwhile. It is time to change all that. I am 36 years old—not too old, but also not too young.

I am keeping a journal where I could track all of my daily activities and reflections. The goal is not to be busy but to devote amounts of time doing chores with long-term good effects. Dr. Stephen Covey calls it the Quadrant II activities—chores that are important but not urgent. Honestly, these are the tasks I always fail to do because they are not urgent.

Many of us focus on what is urgent, and there are many of them. My theory is that those piled-up urgent tasks are caused by not planning early on.

EFFICIENCY IS FOR THINGS, NOT PEOPLE

This is where many of us get it wrong. Efficiency is for resources; many of us have applied it to people. I am guilty of this. I have counted the hours and minutes to bond with a loved one. I downsized a number of friends because of disagreements. I treated people as rewards. These all sound ugly but true. And many people were like this too.

The best way to deal with people is through effectiveness, but that is for our next blog.

Let me know what you think about efficiency.

I am grateful that, towards the end of the year, I read Dr. Stephen Covey's "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People." This book is a necessity in my life; I super need it. The year 2023 was chaotic and defining. We almost reached rock bottom, but we managed to stay alive, both literally and figuratively.

I seldom revisit books, but this one will be my guide in the years to come. Unfortunately, Dr. Covey passed away more than a decade ago, but his legacy lives on. This book saved my life and helped me process the chaos around me. Moreover, it enabled me to support my loved ones in the ordeal we faced.

While there were many statements I quoted from this book, one valuable takeaway is the importance of creating a personal statement. It's akin to a mission statement for companies, but Dr. Covey encourages us to create one as individuals.

So, I spent the remaining days of last year crafting a personal statement. This isn't a one-time effort because the statement is meant to endure as long as one lives. It should remain relevant at all times, not confined to the present moment. The personal statement should be centered on principles rather than the people or concepts in one's life because, while people and concepts change, principles don't. I encourage you to get a copy of this book and read it. You might find it as impactful as I did.

I hesitated to share my statement because I might not be able to fulfill it. However, the essence of my blog is to document my thoughts — a part of my growth as a woman and an individual. Posting this is also a way of challenging myself to fulfill this statement.

So, here you go, ladies and gents: Ana's personal statement 2024:

I strive to:

1. Downsize and upgrade

2. Reward my present self as much as I reward my future self

3. Stay humble and curious

4. Be brave enough to make mistakes in the spirit of learning

5. Perform all of my duties with consistency and honesty

6. Form, nurture, and mend valuable relationships through trust and respect

7. Listen empathically

8. Kindly let go of relationships that are harmful to myself

9. Manage my time well

Each word and line above is loaded with context and meaning. I choose "strive," for instance, because I know that living up to this statement requires hard work. Perhaps, I might write a more detailed blog on each of them in the near future. But for now, this will do.

How about you? If you were to write your personal statement, how would it go?

May the upcoming year bring you joy and growth! Happy 2024! 

I am falling in love again. 

But this time, not with someone, but with a place: my hometown.

My hometown is the last place I would want to love. Despite the great memories it holds, it also carries the weight of family issues, failed friendships, and toxic cultures, all of which I endeavored to escape.

Except that this year, I was compelled not to run away from it.

Many of you know that Mom had a life-threatening disease that required her to undergo not one, but two medical procedures — high-risk major surgeries for an immune-compromised senior citizen like her. She didn't have to, but Mom begged me to stay here for months.

If you were ever in a romantic relationship with me, you would know that my solution to big relationship problems is to walk, no, to run away. I recognize that I might need therapy to address this. And I am very sorry for good partners who had to endure this sad abandonment issue of mine. As for bad partners, they probably deserve it.

I admit, staying here in Las Piñas initially brought out the worst in me. I have the temperament of my late Uncle George, easily frustrated when things do not happen at a pace that's necessary. Mom and I had huge fights, too. Mom was the emotional one, and I, the logical one. We were like two parallel lines that do not meet.

But just like what my high school geometry teacher said, parallel lines meet at some point.

My most difficult conversations with Mom are the most important ones. It's like getting to know Mom the second, third, or many more times around.

It is not only Mom that I got to know on a deeper level. I have also started seeing Las Piñas in a new light.

I met the most amazing people in our hometown — neighbors and friends who are willing to help even if we can no longer give them anything in return. Ka Naty, my newfound friend, endured sleeping less to accompany me to DSWD twice, once in Baclaran and another in Batasan QC, to get financial help. If you've been to DSWD, the lines there are super long. I realized I could be patient, having to learn to wait for five to nine hours in line to get financial help.

For the second time, I also learned to appreciate the food from our small eateries, like Resha's nuts and Nano's pansit bihon. I also sat down and enjoyed a hot bowl of sopas at Ka Belinda's karinderia. I could still remember Ka Belinda's small spot at Tramo Street more than two decades ago. I would buy merienda there using my remaining daily school allowance. I would never forget when Ka Belinda told me, "Salubong ang kilay mo, ano?" suggesting that those with bushy connected brows are snobs. I was nine years old then. Maybe I am a snob.

A Bowl of Hot Sopas from Ka Belinda - nostalgic

It felt good to bring back those memories while I enjoyed the hot soup post-Simbang Gabi. I completed all nine mornings of this mass. I just felt that I have to do it. I felt I have to talk to God more now, as these are all memories of childhood being modified by memories of my adulthood.

Most of all, it is in my hometown that I celebrated Christmas the best. I never really celebrated Christmas anywhere in the world but here. And as this chapter of my life is about to end to usher a new one, it felt like a full-circle moment that I have to go through. Many friends asked how I am; I cannot say that I am happy right now. I am more at peace, contemplative even, tired, yes.

I think this is what love is genuinely about. I think for three decades I got the definition wrong. True love doesn't come out from beautiful things. It emerges from tragedy. It is the capacity to endure suffering. It's the choice to stay despite it all. It is loving more even with the risk of losing everything.

So, from my imperfect yet unique hometown of Bayan, Las Pinas, I wish you all a Merry Christmas. Gone are the days of the yuletide season being merry and drunk; let's spend this time resting, contemplating, loving... even if it hurts.

Maligayang Pasko...

I just finished reading the popular book Atomic Habits by James Clear, and it is the fastest book I have ever read. I am usually a slow reader, taking around a month to finish one book. Surprisingly, I completed this one in just 13 days.

I read this book out of necessity. Unlike other books I read for leisure, Atomic Habits became my lifeline when I felt like I was drowning last September. Witnessing colleagues and mentors leave the company, I was gradually losing hope, and my mind ceased to function for almost a week. Desperate for guidance, I scoured the internet for motivational videos and readings to help me gather the courage to regain my stride. That's when I stumbled upon affordable paperback books on Shopee.

I purchased Atomic Habits alongside two other books, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck* by Mark Manson and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, all in paperback, for a mere Php252. The actual cost of these books is Php350, but with the help of my Shopee coins and free shipping, I managed to secure a discount of around Php100.

I must confess, I initially avoided buying these books, considering them too mainstream. My stubborn self relished the non-conformity. However, my usual indulgence in philosophical books had to take a backseat in the face of life's chaos. It became clear that I needed these self-help books to navigate this turbulent world more effectively. And I must admit, kudos to those who purchased and read these books - they are truly worth the investment! 

So, let me share with you my favorite quotes from Atomic Habits. 

1. Good habits make time your ally. Bad habits make time your enemy.

2. The most perfect outcomes are delayed. 

3. You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. 

4. Meaningful change does not require radical change. 

5. Decide the type of person you want to be. Then, prove it to yourself with small wins. 

6. Many people think they lack motivation when what they really lack is clarity. It is not always obvious when and where to take action. Some people spend their lives waiting for the time to be right to make an improvement. 

7. It is the anticipation of the reward - not the fulfillment of it - that gets us to take action. 

8. Saving money is often associated with sacrifice. However, you can associate it with freedom rather than limitation if you realize one simple truth: living below your current means increases your future means. The money you save this month increases your purchasing power next month.

9. If you want to master a habit, they key is to start with repetition, not perfection. 

10. We rarely think about change because everyone is consumed by the end goal. But one push up is better than not exercising. One minute of guitar practice is better than none at all. One minute of reading is better than never picking up a book. It's better to do less than you hoped than to do nothing at all. 

11. Just because you can measure something doesn't mean it's the most important thing. 

12. When you can't win by being better, you can win by being different. 

13. Play a game that favors your strengths. If you can't find a game that favors you, create one. 

14. The greatest threat to success is not failure but boredom. 

15. The hard and stiff will be broke. The soft and supple will prevail. - Lao Tzu

16. Success is not a goal to reach or a finish line to cross. It is a system to improve, an endless process to refine. 

17. Being curious is better than being smart. Being motivated and curious counts for more than being smart because it leads to action. Being smart will never deliver results on its own because it doesn't get you to act. 

18. Cancer spends 80% of its life undetectable. 

19. The first mistake is never the one that ruins you. 

20. Pain is an effective teacher. If a failure is painful, it gets fixed. If a failure is relatively painless, it gets ignored. The more immediate and more costly a mistake is, the faster you will learn from it... When the consequences are severe, people learn quickly. 

Atomic Habits serves as the ultimate prescription for procrastinators - and I happen to be one of them. I'm currently on a journey of self-improvement, recognizing that it's a gradual process. Nonetheless, I firmly believe in the presence of light at the end of the tunnel. We simply need to take small steps, even if it's just for two minutes. Rest, then continue walking.