VDay

Hey You,

After about two decades, it seems like you've finally found your way.

You've come to understand that it's okay to stand on your own. That doesn't mean you won't appreciate being in a relationship; there are still nights, especially when you're unwell, where the solitude stings a bit.

But here you are, getting it. Right now, you're choosing to focus on yourself and build the future you desire. A future untarnished by someone else's expectations—a path uniquely your own.

Whether you end up sharing this journey with someone or continue flying solo is no longer a pressing concern. It just doesn't matter anymore.

I recall when you were 16, you said that you are scared to be alone. And because you looked nerd, you weren't really the hot girl in high school. But for some reason, you still got the cute crush ng bayan Chinito guy that every girl in your school wanted. You weren't really sure why but maybe your unruly hair and glasses added a dash of charm. It was a realization of your unique allure. Also, that guy had a thing for brainy girls.

Fast forward to 26—your most single era, if there is such a term. Four years of what felt like a romantic drought, yet you navigated it with grace. Sure, some guys showed interest, but they always seemed to be the issue. However, during this time, you discovered the beauty of dining alone in fancy restaurants. You were kind of broke but you have always managed your finances well so you could afford some seafood oil-based pasta, ramen, and booze. 

Now, at 36, you're an entirely different person. Two decades have transformed you. Your 30s saw you in relationships your younger selves would question. And you'd respond, "Damn right, I made those decisions, and I don't regret them!"

You gained more power in your 30s and unfortunately, that meant not only getting hurt, but hurting other people in the process. Some of them do not even deserve it.

Lately, you've been reassessing yourself. How come I feel fine when I am sober, and a completely unhappy person when I am drunk? Your life coach tells you "Maybe you do not accept that part of you that needs help, that needs care, so from time to time, in your most vulnerable moment, she comes out. Maybe you just need to accept this side of yours?" Your life coach is so amazing. 

So, given these scenarios, now is the right opportunity NOT to enter in romantic or casual relationships. Your record in the past 15 months shows that you have poor judgment, often clouded by whatever undiagnosed trauma of the past. And since you are making great progress right now in admitting that you suck at relationships, you've decided to temporarily suspend any dating activities, online and in person. 

For the first time, you can confidently say, "I will be okay, alone or not." Surprisingly, that's reassuring.

The future is yours to shape, and that prospect excites you more than any past relationship ever did.

As you continue this inward journey of yours, allow me to wish you the most heartfelt Happy Valentine's Day! You are incredible.